"I Have To Do ALL The Grown-Up Work!"

I dreaded summertime as an 8 year old. Every morning when I woke up, I had a list of chores screaming at me - Vacuum the upstairs! Scrub the inside AND outside of toilets! Weed the garden! Dust the living room! Make your bed! Sweep AND mop the kitchen!! By about week 3 of Cinderella-dom, I was downright resentful. Mom walked through the door after a long day of work to find the most dramatic version of myself waiting with my arms crossed. Mustering courage to confront Mom, I announced "I DO ALL THE GROWN UP WORK AROUND HERE!"

I still don't understand why she felt laughter was the only way to handle the situation.

Looking back on my 8 year old soap opera, I see how good I had it. My mother taught me that life doesn't happen when you're sitting on your bum, you have to DO it. To this day, I still have to make those lists (a smidge more subtle than the screaming chore lists):

1. Take control of your life.
2. Show your friends and family you love them.
3. Don't drink too much wine.
4. Sing out your fears and frustrations.
5. Definitely drink too much wine.
6. Choose joy.
7. Don't forget the lessons you were taught long ago; childhood wisdom is a gift.

Growing up is hard. Friendships change that you thought never would. Your parents are suddenly human. You work 40 hours a week.... And the lists seem to only get longer.

Find joy in crossing off chores of the past and writing new adventures for the future. What is on your next list?

The Catalyst

I am crying. Yes, there happens to be a depressing Nicolas Sparks movie on. However, this movie is just a catalyst for my tears.

Cancer is sad. I’m sure every one of you have seen or felt the effects of cancer. It sometimes feels as though I’ve never lived in a world without cancer. I grew up knowing my grandma and grandpa had both ‘had’ cancer, but I couldn’t actually see the consequences of the disease. My mom helped care for a woman dying of cancer, but I didn’t understand what it meant when she had to tell the children that their mother wasn’t coming home.

When I was eleven, my parents told me that my dad had prostate cancer. At the time, it still just seemed similar to a cold… yes, he was in the hospital for a day or two, but I was only affected because our entire house was home all day long – how annoying! Dad hogged the TV.

Fast forward to my sophomore year of college. My mother had breast cancer. We had to move into action – it’s what we do when one of our own is wounded. I went home on weekends. I sat with Mom as her hair disappeared. I laughed with her as I offered to find a cute guy to get me pregnant so she could see a grandchild. I cried for countless hours as I worried I might lose my mommy.

Months of chemotherapy, surgery, radiation, and more chemotherapy passed, and my mother just wasn’t the same person she was… before the big C. I feel such sadness now that I can’t remember what my mom was like the18 years beforehand. All I can remember is taking care of her; she was so delicate to me.

I needed to be strong. I needed to balance work, school, a normal college social life, and my sanity. All of that strength and perseverance never faded. I have been trying to stay strong my whole life. I haven’t once grieved the loss of my old mommy and the relationship we could have had.

Three years later, I am now grieving out of necessity. I finally fell apart. Yes, there are current events in my life that are very sad, but they are only the catalyst of my grief.

Although I may cry, I may be sad… I have learned to be strong for the moments I must… Grieve the moments I have lost.

Nomad: Person With No Permanent Home

I have a confession to make: I have a big ego. There is good in having confidence, especially when it comes to the marketing profession. However, when the confidence got away from me, I found myself a little pompous. As I progressed in my position at work and finished my college degree (with a double major, I might add!), I became restless. Restless to the point of deciding I needed to run away. I was going to find the ideal job in the ideal city somewhere in the US, find the ideal apartment, make ideal friends.... All in this fantasy world.

When I was offered to travel with Dawn and the kids as a nanny, I was stoked. THIS WAS MY CHANCE! I WAS GETTING OUT! I WAS MOVING ON! But wait, there's always more to the story. I didn't have one of my best friends across the hallway. I didn't have a boss that let me sing at the top of my lungs to Glee songs in the office. I didn't have my cell phone to call my mom when something bad happened or text someone about my new socks I was wearing. I was miles away from my comfort zone.

By the way... when you're shoved out of your 'bubble,' your ego falls about 45 notches.

My homesickness ebbs and flows. Where 'home' is though.... I don't know. I moved out of the apartment I've lived in for over 2 years with my support group of friends, I quit the job that made me feel like I was a part of something big. Because my family doesn't live in any home (or state) that I grew up in, my house, job, and friendships were my comfort zone, and there isn't a seat waiting for me just as I left it.

I now see that it isn't where you are, but who you are with. Without Dawn, Finley, Fiona, and the multitudes of people I've met along this journey I wouldn't have felt at home on our travels. No matter the B&B, apartment, home, or car, I am home with them. I share in the joy of loving your children, the pain of loss, the excitement in new experiences, and the thrill of traveling the world.

I'm not cut out to be a nomad, and that's okay. The world is my oyster, and I'm going to live life as the pearl.

Chelsea's Traveling Top 5 Lists (because 10 seems daunting)

Traveling is introspective and downright weird. Every place we go has a different vibe, and I no toilet operates the same way. So, I've compiled a few lists of Top 5's (and one Top 10!) so far. Bear in mind I am only 5 weeks and 2.5 countries visited, so the lists may alter as needed.

Top 5 Things Americans Should Do Like Europeans

1. Take rolling cart-like grocery bags with us to the store. No need to buy tons of bags or waste plastic bags. And, you can put small children in them and close the lid when they talk too much.
2. Have more B & B's for travelers that charge less for less people. Also, I like breakfast with nice old people that own B&B's.
3. Charge less for wine than for soda
4. Have more outdoor cafes. Everywhere.
5. Serve baguette bread with everything

Top 6 Things I'll Gladly Leave in Europe

1. Charges for restrooms
2. Languages I don't understand (*Nothing against the language itself, It's just difficult to flirt when you don't know if they're saying you're pretty or look like the neighborhood cat lady. I need to stock up on Rosetta Stone software....)
3. Left-hand side driving (and navigating)
4. My small, overpacked suitcase that doesn't seem to understand how many hair products I need
5. Twin beds
6. Cheese (*sadly, this one will follow me)

Top 10 Random Realizations

1. I retained little from my high school and college education regarding geography and major landmarks in foreign countries
2. I must learn more languages
3. We take for granted our physical safety
4. We take for granted our freedom of religion (i.e. Northern Ireland vs. Republic of Ireland & their catholic/protestant war)
5. I like wine. Every. Single. Day.
6. America is freaking huge
7. George W. Bush was a joke across the globe, but he got re-elected...???
8. I will never like cheese
9. Dawn Picken is a cool cat, and I'm lucky she picked me to traipse around the world with her.
10. My life isn't insurmountable (this is a reminder to myself and you too!)

This is my name written permanently on the Peace Wall between the catholic and protestant neighborhoods of Belfast, N. Ireland. The people who live here have cages around their houses to block thrown items and innumerable memorials dotting the city.

Hi Ho, Hi Ho, it's Off To Ireland We Go!

I haven't felt inspirational, clever, or interesting enough to write for the past week or so. I hope you all have been able to survive those tough times.

Today is (theoretically) our last day in Paris, France. Our flight is scheduled to depart at 6:10 this evening (9:10 am PST). However, the air traffic controllers have decided that today is the perfect day for a strike! Luckily our flight is one of 15 that haven't been cancelled ahead of time. We're praying it stays that way! Otherwise, tt would be not-so-terrible to stay another night.

From Paris we fly to Belfast, UK to be picked up by a friend/relative of Dawn's who's graciously hosting us for the next 4-5 days in Port Rush, UK (right next to Ireland). After our stay there, Dawn, myself and the kiddos are taking a car and traveling down the west coast of Ireland. Driving on the left side of the road, restless children, and green hills oh my! (I hope she doesn't get tired of me and leave me along the side of the road somewhere. Or, maybe then I'll meet a Gerard Butler look-a-like.......)

From there, who knows. I'll update you as our plans get closer and more realistic. I'm not sure what my internet situation will be like over the next few months... but please write me messages and emails if you feel inclined! It brightens up my day to hear what's happening back in the real world. (chelseacheriedannen@gmail.com)

Paris has been good to me. I've really been able to get comfortable in my skin... alone. The beauty here has really touched my heart. Can't wait to see what's next! (Ehm... sexy Irish men possibly???)

:)

Kids Are The Darndest Things...

Oh... the things kids do. They have the power to make me laugh, yell, cry, and feel like the coolest person on the planet (it's really quite mind-bottling.) (Yes, I said mind-bottling... it's like You know, when things are so crazy it gets your thoughts all trapped, like in a bottle?)

I could regale you with stories of Finn's reasoning to get chocolate at any point in the day or the things Fi says to me while I'm getting dressed, but that's not the point of today's blog. My inspiration today is the connection between all human beings... big and small.

Guess what - grown ups are just bigger, more reasonable versions of children. Shocking, I know. (If you need a cocktail before reading on, I understand.) People like myself, who didn't grow up around small children have a lot to learn when choosing jobs such as nannying or even the big kahuna - parenting. Something I learned early on with Finley and Fiona is that there is little-to-no logic. To anything. Life to children is simply getting from the morning to night with everything they want, when they want it. They don't see beyond the moment, they don't see other peoples' needs before their own, they need others to make those wants reality. (Mind you, they do some wonderful things too - but the basic needs usually orbit around these few desires.)

As 'adults,' we are the same way. We've learned to control it somewhat, but our instinct is to find a way to get what we want. We want others to help us & we often fail to look past the present. Sometimes, we even leave important people behind because of our poor judgements. It's when I've been most self-centered that I've been most unhappy. I have an ego (another shocker, I know. Cocktail #2, coming up!), and when I focus on it I lose the joy of connecting with others.

I am just one big kid, in one big-ish world (it seems smaller every day!). I realize that we all have to take care of ourselves to serve others... & I am so thankful for those of you who've taken care of me.

Now world... watch out when I decide to have kids. Someday. :)

Powerful Memories

(Just a heads up... this blog may be a little sappy!)

Yesterday the crew went to Giverny (a small town about a 45 min train ride from Paris), where Monet lived for the second half of his life. He painted his water lily paintings there, along with other beautiful landscape images. The most astounding feature of the place was the gardens. Holy cow, were they gardens.

Usually when you see something beautiful, you gaze in awe, take a few pictures, then move on. However, as Dawn and I wandered up and down the isles of pinks, yellows, reds, purples, blues, and greens, I started noticing flowers that my grandma had planted all over their property in the boondocks of Oregon. 'Poor Man's Orchids' that I used to pinch their seed pockets and plant for miles and miles, Fuchsia blooms that hung near the back door, Nasturtiums that covered an area by the strawberry garden....

I spent weeks out at my grandparent's house when I was a kid. It was definitely country. I wasn't as princess-like then as I am now, so I would get down and dirty with the farm. My Grandma MaryAnn was also the epitome of old-fashioned. She taught me to cook and bake (she'd ask me every time I came to visit if I had been cooking dinner for my family), and we were never allowed to say the word 'bored' when at her home. So when I didn't feel like baking up a storm, I'd go wander the flowerbeds, gardens, and acres of grass seed... most likely singing songs I'd learned in Sunday school.

Seeing those exact same flowers in France as I saw growing up, stirred something inside me. I remembered the good times with my grandma (she passed away with alzheimer's when I was a senior in high school), and it also linked how small the world really is.

No matter where we are, we can connect with the world around us... We just have to be open to it.